Chaing Mai, Wat Ram Poeng, Thailand

I've decided to catch my flight to Australia on the 2nd afterall. I was thinking of trying to help in the relief efforts but the aid organizations are asking for unskilled volunteers (that would be me) to stay away and just give money. Please donate to one of the relief organizations listed below (or any that you see fit). Indonesia is virtually shut off from access at the moment and millions more may die from disease and starvation.

it seems a little self absorbed to write about my meditation retreat in the context of this disaster, but I wanted to get it out there before I forget the experience (my memory is so bad these days). So forgive me if it seems inappropriate. It's hard to gage what is appropriate in a situation like this where one feels kind of helpless and useless.

I decided to spend the holidays in Chaing Mai, near the border of Burma and Laos. I had heard there was lots to do there and wanted to take some classes in cooking, meditation and possibly massage.

The first day I was there I took a Thai cooking class from "Chilli Cooking Academy" which was conveniently there at the guesthouse I was staying in (Eagle House 2, run by an irish/Thai couple who also do "Eco responsibility" tours of the region). The cooking class was run my Mr. Soot who used to do political activism fighting government corruption in Thailand before before starting the cooking school. He took us to the market where we purchased needed ingredients and began cooking and eating and cooking and eating....and cooking and eating some more.

We learned how to make "morning glory" which looks like a simple plate of greens. It has a mysterious smoky flavor however. That mystery was soon resolved when he told us to heat the oil laced wok till it caught fire...then throw the wet greens into the wok so that it explodes with flames....He wasn't kidding. He later added that you don't want to cook this inside (luckily our class was outside on a porch). The English student screamed when she threw the greens in. I was covering myself in a corner to protect myself from the flames. The Thais are lovably and certifiably mad!!!!

The next day I decided to go to Wat Ram Poeng (http://www.palikanon.com/vipassana/tapotaram/tapotaram.htm),
a working Theravada Buddhist Monestary that offers 10 and 26 day vipassina mediation retreats. I arrived there and was greeted by a monk Par Kry who showed me to my room (which was immaculately clean and had an ensuite shower!!) I asked him how much the retreat was and he said it was no charge. It's all based on donation. Later that day I met my teacher Ajahn Supan, the Abbott Monk who let me know of my schedule for the 10 day Vipassina course. I would start out at 6 hours at 15 minute intervals of walking and sitting mindful meditation. We wake up at 4am to meditate. Have "breakfast" at 6:30 (which they provided free of charge), have "lunch" at 10:30am and do yet more meditation. Report back to him at 3 pm and guess what? Do meditation. Then go to sleep at 10 pm. For ten days we were instructed not to talk at all..no socializing. I didn't understand this till later. When you did talk with other meditators, it really screwed up your practice as you would start comparing notes and competing. Interesting that.

We also weren't allowed to eat outside of alloted times. But by far the hardest precept was not killing. Usually I wouldn't have a problem with this, except the monestary was infested with ants. They loved my bathroom and at one point there were thousands of ants all over my toilet and shower. I have to confess, some of them died when I created my own personal tsunami with the shower head and water fawcet. I hope I didn't somehow cosmically karmically contribute to the Asian tsunami disaster by doing so. One thing's for sure, I'm going straight to a boiling pot of oil in Buddhist hell.

All women had to wear this Rajneesh looking white outfit with a scarf covering their shirts where our breasts are. Men and woman were not allowed to go into either's dormitory areas. The men stayed where the monks quarters were and the women stayed where the nuns were. We were allowed to meditate everywhere else though including the main temple, the library and the outside shrines.

In the women's area was a dog named Tham. She was enormously pregnant and would walk around with a leaf in her mouth like it was a bone. She had that look in her eye that animals have when they have never been hit or abused. She was a very kind and wise dog...a buddha perhaps? Evidently she just showed up one day and began protecting the Nun's quarters, barking whenever a monk or man came into the area (interesting side note, there actually have been recorded incidences of monks raping and murdering women but this is not a common occurence). Most monks just don't interact with women at all. This is because Therevada Buddhism believes that women are below men in the cycle of rebirth (a monk is just below an enlightened being). I have personal issues with this aspect of the religion in that it is silly, but I was a guest and wasn't going to begin a feminist debate in a 500 year old monestary in Thailand. If you say hi to a monk, they are usually warm and friendly. But if you touch them , or their robe it is condisdered highly offensive. The nuns however are always exceptionally warm and sweet.

The entire monestary was wall to wall dogs..and cats, and geckos and of course ANTS. But dogs were everywhere; most were not like Tham and fought with eachother. You would hear dogs fighting and yelping throughout the day. When the bells would ring for morning alms or at breakfast or evening monk chant, all the dogs would start to howl in a cacophony that was deafening. There was no way anyone was going to sleep in at 4am (though I did try). On Christmas eve Tham had her puppies...seven in all. Mishi Siri (mishi=nun) came out of her 24 hour meditation and watched her with us. She would speak gently to Tham and leave food for her outside her den. "Same Same!" she kept saying. Most of the first born puppies were the same color. ("Same Same" is a typical Thai-English way of saying "they are the same".) For the rest of my stay, I would hear the puppies squeal for help, sometimes falling out of the den. I and Mishi Siri would go out to and help them and she would begin speaking in her gentle sweet thai voice to the family of critters before returning to her humble little room.

There were probably about 10 westerners and 30 thai (mostly women) on retreat as well as about 75 monks and nuns living there full time. Evidently, it's traditional for Thai women to go to a retreat or become a nun when they break up with their boyfriends. Most of the women I spoke to were there for 3 or 6 days.

On Christmas eve, Par Kry stood at my doorway holding a piece of chocolate cake with an enormous grin on his face. "Happy Christmas from Ajahn Supan" he said. Everywhere I walked that day, nuns and the other Thai meditators wished me "happy christmas". The reception office even had a christmas tree with lights. It was very considerate especially since Christmas isn't even a Buddhist holiday. I can't imagine going to a Christian monestary and the monks acknowledging "Budda day" or "Ramadan" or "Hannukah" for that matter. It says a lot about the tolerance, compassion and acceptance of the Buddhist religion.

At 10:30 on the 26th I was meditating in the meditation hall. It had a Buddha shrine, big screens with metal work of a man meditating and a lovely astroturf carpet. I was sitting and felt the ground rumble. I said "Hey..it's an earthquake" to the 12 other meditators, but everyone else was in deep meditation and ignored me. I thought nothing of it at the time as it didn't feel that big a....ahhh maybe it was just a small tremor like we have year round in California I said to myself.

That night we celebrated "Budda Day" which is every full and half moon. We went into the meditation hall with the astroturf carpet and sat in front of the monks. The women had to sit behind the men (Yes, sexism rearing its ugly head again). Then the monks began to pass out sippy juices and what looked like cans of spam (It was condensed milk). We all sat there drinking sippy juices in front of the monks and then began chanting. I couldn't stop laughing as it seemed so funny and absurd yet exceptionally sweet and innocent. We then walked around the main shrine three times and laid flowers and incense while making a wish. The shrine was about 10 meters tall. It looks like a giant brick christmas tree with buddha statues encased around it at incremental levels, representing the various realms of consciousness. The shrine was built in 1492 when the Wat was founded (same year of Columbus). It was very beautiful and I knew at that point it was the best way to celebrate the end of the year.

At report backs the next day, Ajahn Supan said "you are very lucky". I asked him why and he told me there was a tsunami that killed 3,000 people. His comment didn't register till days later when the actual numbers began coming in. I was going to head to Phuket to get my diving certificate had I not received one in Vietnam. Something kept me from the islands though, mainly because they were such a tourist trap. I was lucky indeed.

Ajahn Supan is a small framed man, in his 40's and very easy going. He laughs a lot, sometimes at things you're not sure of. At one point, he was talking, then stopped, then placed a bell on his wrist and gently scraped it to the table in front of him. "Mosquito". He pointed to the clear glass bell and indeed he had caught the mosquito inside it while it had been biting him on the wrist. His assitant then took it outside and set it free. I felt like a real shit for killing all those ants after that and made real effort not to kill things including mosquitos. Ajahn Supan's English wasn't super great so he had a translator, a nun Mishi Pornpit, who spoke so softly it was hard to hear her sometimes. She was exceptionally kind and mindful. A French monk named Andre also sat in the room during the reportbacks. He would smile and laugh a lot. I'm not sure why he was there. Maybe he's an assistant of some kind? I didn't like to take too much of their time and ask loads of questions. I noticed other westerners would go on about their life stories but the Thai folks kept it short and suscinct. It didn't matter ultimately, I think no matter what you told Ajahn Supan at that stage in your learning, he would say the same thing. "Acknowledge your distractions" and "give greater effort".

On the 27th, a 93 year old nun who had spent all of her life there at the monestary died. They held a funeral in the meditation hall where they left her casket. It stayed there up until I left. No one cried, no one looked devastated during the ceremony. Even though she had been there for over 70 years, it was a buddhist reaction to impermanence itself. Her photo was kept outside by the buddha statue, with flowers and candles. Her family stayed around the monestary (they were the only ones in black). The day I left (day 3), the monks and nuns were making what looked like a tinstled float to put the (I'm assuming) coffin on in some sort of procession so I think she was about to be buried or cremated.

The meals ranged from somewhat bearable to really good (but cold) thai food. One day the nun who normally began the prayer (which was in pali and about how we shouldn't be attatched to food) didn't show up. We waited and waited, patiently staring at our food. One of the older Thai nuns began the chant, but she spoke softly and our collective effort fell apart, most of us westerners barely knew how to pronounce the words. There was one Thai guy though who knew it by heart (this is a common prayer in Thailand I suppose) and went off on his own pace and tune to the point where he was the only one we could hear. The missing nun finally showed up and began the chant again (mind you, this chant takes 5 minutes) and I think she was a little peeved, because she made us do it all over again so that we REALLY KNEW we shouldn't be attatched to food. At the end of the entire ordeal it was 20 minutes into it, I was behind schedule on my 12 hour meditations and the food had flys around it. I WAS GETTING STRESSED! At a meditation retreat! Go figure. 12 hours is a long time to be thinking about nothing but your breath and how your body feels. I got a lot out of it and learned more about my self in those 10 days than I have in the last 5 years.

When I left last night, the hussle and bustle of modernity slapped me in the face like a wet towl. Everything seemed so intense and bright. I went for dinner and the food tasted differently. I feel so slow in comparison. Life there at the monestary grants a different pace. It also allows complete introspection which is so rare to find. Something changed in me. I hope it lasts.

156,000 dead and rising....Please donate

Please email and ask for folks to donate. Even though Bush stepped up his contribution, the total UN/World Bank amount of 1 billion is only 1/10th of what is needed (possibly more). The death toll is rising dramatically every day.

Indonesia and Shri Lanka have been completely devestated. 100,00 dead in Indonesia are the estimates. And to happen in an area of the world (Indonesia particularly) already devestated by poverty and political violence is particuarly complicated.

I strongly encourage your donations be sent to "Indonesian Civil
Society Coalition for the Victims of Earthquake and Tsunami". This is
being coordinated by Friends of the Earth
Indonesia (WALHI).

The US funding pool for their efforts is Global Greengrants, which
will make matching grants for the first $25,000 of our donations.

To make a donation, go to:
http://www.greengrants.org/pressreleases.php?news_id=29

For updates of the Coalition's work, see:

http://www.eng.walhi.or.id

Also, please read the excellent stories on Aceh on
Democracy Now from this week, in case you missed the radio shows:
http://www.democracynow.org, especially January 4, 2005:
http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=05/01/04/160250).

Mekong and Nam Khan Rivers, Laos

In Vang Viang I came across a most spectacular photo in the guest house I was staying in. It was behind the reception, and looked like it was from a magazine clipping. The photo was taken in 1973 and it was of about one dozen US soldiers holding an enormous eel which must have been at least 30 feet long. The head of the eel looked dragon like, unearthly almost.

As I looked at the photo, I wondered if this was the same animal that adorned the Buddhist temples throughout Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos. Was this the mystical "naga", a giant serpent that guarded the gates of the spirit realm?

I went on a one day kayak trip along the Nam Khan river near Luang Prabang and asked Mai , our guide about the photo. Mai, like most Lao men was a monk as a boy (for five years) and knew all about the Naga. He knew of the photo, which is quite famous to the Lao, and affirmed that yes, indeed it was the mystical "naga" which occupies the deep cave waters of the Mekong river. Evidently all of the soldiers in the photo died shortly after killing the animal, and there have been different accounts of other such serpents being caught, killed, and eaten. The hunters all met unfortunate premature endings...hence the belief that to kill such a creature is absolute bad luck. Some Naga have been described as giant electric eels, others massive anaconda-like snakes with 12 noses. Whatever the case, that photo (which is nowhere on the web) exists, and is quite incredible. Let's just say I am a true believer of the great naga and wouldn't want to meet it in a dark cave while diving.

As we kayaked down the Nam Khan we noticed a giant butterfly flapping in the river. It's wings were the size of my hand and it was drowning. We paddled over to save it and Mai picked it up with his oar quite gracefully (which I was unable to do). Within a few minutes, its wings were dry and it flew away. "Good buddhists...we save it" Mai said.

Later along the river we saw a skipping fish, a small rainbow fish that jumps out of the water and flys along the surface, skipping for about 20 or 30 feet. It was quite amazing and bazaar!!!

All along the Mekong and Nam Khan, different tribal people live (Akah,Hmong,Karen are just a few), growing cucumbers, lettuce, bananas, and anything that will grow along the banks. Many of the tribes originate from China, Tibet and Mongolia. They have a very Tibetan look (and manner about them), hence the easy going nature of the region. Smiling and friendly, the people always wave as you float by, (alien- like in helmet, life vest and firey red sea kayak looking completely like a tourist).

So many people rely on the rivers for their livelihood and sustenance. Fishing and collecting river moss (mekong weed) to make a dried, nori like edible paper (that is quite delicious with tomatos and garlic) are the main activities of those who venture into the upper waters of the Nam Khan, away from town.

It becomes hard to believe that every village in Laos (with the exception of Luang Prabang because the Royal Family sided with the Americans) was bombed to oblivion. But considering Lao's lack of infrastructure it becomes apparent that the scars run deep. Like Cambodia, Laos is a forgotten country in America's war in Vietnam. Just about every villager had to live in a cave, or underground during the relentless bombings. It's strange how Vietnam, thirty years later) ended up in much better shape than these two countries. Cambodia and Laos really were collatoral damage nations that have been written out of the history books, but carry on, if by a limp. It makes you wonder of all the other countries who have been forgetten, unfortunate neighbors in a strategic war against communism, drugs, terrorism, or whatever the US felt like justified mass killing at that moment in history.

As we float away from the villages and closer to Luang Prabang, you see the effects of the market economy seeping in. The activities on the river changes. Illegal logging of teak is becoming a big economy for locals, as is dredging the river of sand to make cement. Their small fishing boats (about 15 inches in width and 15 feet long) sink with the weight of the sand. Every boat is just inches above the water as its owner desperately tries to scoop the water out to keep the vessel from sinking to the bottom. It is a tremendously powerful symbolic image of the third world's predicament. A simple wooden boat, sinking, taking the life of the river to a large catipillar truck near town, the boat owner barely keeping the vessel from catastrophically sinking to the bottom (effectively ending his livelihood). Everything seems to be hanging by a thread the closer you get to "civilization".

And with that "civilization" comes tourism. Every town you go to in this part of the world, it seems caters to tourists hand and foot due to the industry's economic importance. The most disturbing aspect of which is the prostitution. Everywhere I go I see older men with young southeast asian women. Some of these men I see in multiple towns, each town carrying a different woman on his arm. It's gross. These men are fat, ugly and usually in their 50's and above, the women look 19 (sometimes even younger?). Child prostitution is out of control particularly in Cambodia and Laos. The Thai have begun to crack down on it more. Money and poverty, West and East....it seems so easy to tip the scales and create an imbalance with such extremes (most of my rooms I have been in cost no more than $5 a night..hot shower ensuite and sometimes cable TV!). It's dead cheap here for westerners. But the locals also pay a price. This imbalance forces an economy of prostitutes, beggers, maids and drug lords into the economic mainstream where before such occupations were in the minority. From my naive eye, it seems that those who live upriver, away from the towns seem to have it better, but I am sure they have their hardships as well (lack of clean water and medical care being examples).

I left Luang Prabang and headed to the Thai border by taking a two day slow boat up the Mekong. The first day was alright as the boat had plush airline seats (made for tourists) and relatively little hassle. We arrived in Pakbeng, one of those towns that wouldn't exist if the two slow boats didn't stop and drop off the tourists at night on the way to and from Thailand. The town's entire economy revolved around guesthouses and making sandwiches for our next days journey. It seems like every man woman and child wanted to make me a ham sandwhich in that village.

The guesthouse I stayed in was basically a rat infested chicken coop (which a family of five also called home). None of the tourists (myself included) got sleep because of the scurrying rodents (it sounded like there were hundreds of them on the roof, in the walls, on the floor under your bed... and I had earplugs!).

The next day, our plush boat vanished (this time the locals got to take it up river...well deserved I might add) and we got to take the local boat. It was twice as small, and had seats that were basically two by four pieces of wood benches, with enough leg space for small Asian people, but not big fat corn fed westerners.

In the first thirty minutes, water began to pour onto the passengers from the engine room. The Japanese toursists screamed like they were in a Godzilla movie and I looked up to see a waterful coming at all of us. The driver ran back and put the cap back on (good thing it was just the cap that popped off). About 3 hours into the journey, the engine began to smoke and we had to pull the boat over. Luckily some villager children were standing along the banks and they grabbed a rope (tiny 5 and 6 year olds were saving us from helplessly floating down the Mekong).

An idiot American guy started taking pictures of the children while we were all convinced the boat was about to blow from an engine fire. Many tourists seem to be really disrespectful in this department. Hilltribe Lao believe that taking a photo steals your soul and they become really distressed over it. He didn't care, he was just snapping away, happy to add to his collection to show to his friends back in Oakland. We all wanted to throw him to the naga.

They got the boat going again (it just needed more oil evidently), but the driver had a really distressed look on his face throughout the rest of the journey. His wife sat up front with her baby daughter, she would occasionally go back to the engine room (which was also their living quarters) and make food, hang the laundry or just do general chores. Such instances of drama seemed to be second nature to them, it was like brushing one's teeth.

I knew the border crossing would close at 5:30, and the boat man (regardless of the mishaps) seemed to be making good time. At 4:30, he began to slow the boat down, and in the last leg, started doing huge zig zags across the river, from one side of the bank to the other. We didn't know why until we arrived...10 minutes after the border closed to Houxai. Yes, it was another town that existed solely because of tourists from the two slow boats! Of course, it became apparent that our driver probably got some kind of kick back from the local guesthouses and restaurants if he brought a boatload of 15 stranded rich westerners with time on their hands and money to spend. Yes, such is the ways of South East Asia. Kickbacks, bribes and dodgy business practices...money talks (even louder in poverty stricken nations I suppose). It would be so easy to get angry about this, but there is no point. Some folks on the boat lost it when they got off (I can't blame them) as we all walked 2 km in the dark to the nearest guest house. We had to make this treck because he dropped us off up river so we definately wouldn't make the checkpoint on time. It was, dare I say, an experience.

I'm safely nestled in Chaing Mai Thailand now. I'm going to be offline for about 10 days so don't worry if you don't hear from me. I'll be staring at the walls in a monestary doing a Vipassina retreat. Wish me luck, if all goes well, I won't come out of it maniacilly twittling my fingers in front of my face and talking to myself.

Compared to Laos, Thailand is so developed. Fast food restaurants, internet cafes everywhere, all the modern conveniences. Sometimes it feels like you're not really outside of the west here. The Thais are gracious and sweet people though. Thailand seems to be a good buffer to Laos and Combodia in terms of modernity.

That said, I do miss Laos greatly already. Its spirit is gentle and beautiful. It's an incredible country that visiting in, changes your view of the world.

Luang Prabang, Laos

I left Vietnam and made it to the border of Ventienne Laos. From there I caught a bus to Vang Viang, a village that is famous for its inner tube rides along the river. Basically, you rent a tube and a tuk tuk drives you a few km north. You float down the river and every few meters or so there is a local on a raft in the middle of the river selling beers (Beer Lao). You float up, buy a beer and float away, getting increasingly plastered as you hit the rapids. I refrained, but did enjoy watching the idiot Irish guys behind me making complete asses of themselves. A few kids who were fishing jumped on our tubes and floated with us part way to town. The kid on my tube started shaking because it was getting cold so I waded him over to the bank, he got out and helpfully pushed me back into the center of the river. The experience was fun...and beautiful. The mountains shoot up into the sky dramatically. They look like giant rocks rather than mountains.

Being in a place of tremendous beauty makes me realise my Americanness, my westernness and its lumbering grotesqueness. As a result, it makes me want to shed it completely. I know this is impossible, but there is a shame one feels. I've come to realise that people from the West (myself included) do not know how to love beauty. We try, but in the end, consume it and ultimately destroy it. Whether it's taking a picture of a beautiful moment or walking so much in a place of beauty that the trail turns to a road that turns to a mudslide. As westerners, we must own beauty. In asia, it seems more the ancient belief is to nurture it. I am coming to realise as well, that the many layers of Lao culture (Cambodian, Thai, Vietnamese included) make it glaringly obvious how our culture is lacking in sophistication, understanding and a true appreciation of beauty and therefore life.

Luang Prabang is a beautiful ancient town in the northern center of Laos. It lies along the Mekong river, nestled among the rainforest laden mountains. The Hmong tribe are just one of the many enthnic minority groups that call this area home. The town itself has dozens of Thiravada Buddhist temples, so at 4am, you can hear the gong bells awakening the young monks for their morning alms prayer. The chants begin and the air is filled with their gentle and beautiful voices. The town was named a world heritage site in 1995 by UNESCO, so as a result, there are incredibly clean streets (for Asia) fairly good sanitation, and strategic lighting at night to make the beautiful temples and hills spectacular. The Lao take great pride in their shops and abodes, with potted street plants and wild pointsettias. Butterflys fill the air and the sounds of caged birds (a tradition from China brought down generations ago) are heard along the shop corridors.

At 6:30 am the town comes out to give alms to the monks. It is the monk's main source of food. The locals come out along the river and give portions of sticky rice, chicken, cookies, and whatever was made in their small kitchens. The monks, many of them children, file along, all 276 of them. Holding their large ornace bowls strapped around them like a purse, locals place small rations into each monk's dish.

I went to the royal palace a couple of days ago where the royal family lived till 1977. After that time, the Communists took over, abducted the royals and banished them to a cave where they died of starvation and exposure. With that, the lineage died forever. In 2000, the Communist government had an exorcism ceremony because they believed the Royals had placed a curse on their government resulting in the country's economic woes (the average Lao makes about $10 a month). I'm not a fan of royalty, but there is a sadness to this tale. It was the royals who brought Buddhism to Laos and were a big symbol of Lao culture, and I get the sense the Lao long for that lineage that was so immediately exterminated. It would be like the Queen,Prince Charles and all the others being immediately executed and Buckingham palace being emptied by looters (though, to some, this could be a good thing).

In the palace was a room of gifts given to the royal family by different countries. China had given a beautiful porceline horse, Russia, a series of amazing pots and tea sets, Thailand, also beautiful china. Then you came to the USA's gift case. The US had sided with the royal family and the right wing Lao against the communists in the war against Vietnam. As a result, the US bombed Laos (which held part of the Ho Chi Minh trail) so much that it bestowed it with the dubious honor of being the most heavily bombed country in the history of warfare (much of southern laos is still mine ridden and extremely dangerous to walk in). That said, the US gave Laos a lovely case full of what I will call the most hideous series of bowling trophies I have ever seen seen. One was a replica of the Apollo 13 given by Nixon. Another was a bronze coin of Johnson. Kitschy blue plaques and a key to San Francisco as well as Cleveland also were included. If they were given to me, I'd put them in a box and take them to the Salvation Army. The French tourists were standing, pointing and laughing at this hideous display of arrogance. Indeed, it was so tacky, so embarrassing, so kitsch, so American. I told the French I was embarrassed, and they shrugged their shoulders, in typical French snootiness. Never mind the French colonized this part of the world for so long. Europeans have an interesting view of their own involvement in history I suppose...they are somehow immune to brutality. One thing they are immune from however is kitsch....they have good taste when it comes to giving gifts to the Lao Royals.

I walked into a Wat (temple) where the monks immediately asked where I was from. "San Francisco" ....The one monk (Luah which means "Fate") sang the first few bars of "San Francisco here I come"....Another monk whose English was really really good invited me back for their alms at 5:15 where an American Lao woman was going to be filming a documentary. So I returned at that time and watched them chant. It was so beautiful and moving even though slightly staged for the American woman. The young monks seemed to be excited to be filmed. I got a few shots in on my camera as I figured this would be the only opportunity not to be intrusive. The guest house I am staying at is next to another Wat, and every morning I walk through the temple past the monks to the main road. The monks are usually carving buddha statues as UNESCO is training them in traditional arts (this was almost eliminated due to the Communists but is now being reintroduced).

Yesterday I went to Pakou caves where locals and monks retire old Budda statues. When a statue is worn or broken, they take it to these caves along the Mekong where thousands sit, veiled in cobwebs beneath stalagtites. It is quite a beautiful site, though the throngs of tourists with their super Canon teleophoto lenses kind of ruins the ambiance.

Thus, the comment about consuming beauty comes back. I believe that in the west, our reality is based on superficial layers based on immediate satisfaction and survival, the extreme of which is consumerism. But for the Lao, the layers run deeper. Survival is obviously essential, but religion, compassion, family, community and duty (to community, faith and work) help complete the existance making a more gentle, less violent, less anxiety ridden existence. I believe that loneliness does not exist in their culture, and as far as I can see, neither does mental illness. If it does, it is not visible. If you are feeling lonely, all you need to do is go outside, and immedately you are greeted with smiling "Saba Di" and children playing . The private space is also the public (like Cambodia). Doors to homes are open, women cook bananas in the streets, a family of four fits onto one small moto bike (I've seen 5 people on a bike, with the baby stradling the gas tank). People's chickens and pigs randomly wander the streets, somehow miraculously making their way back to their prospective pens at night. There is a strange logic to the mayhem. Everyone's lives are somewhat revealed, accessible and open, at all times. It's refreshing.

Nha Trang, Vietnam

Just spent 4 days in the beach town of Nha Trang, Southern Vietnam. As of this writing, I am now a PADI certified open water scuba diver. Not to toot my own horn, but it was kind of difficult. I wasn't expecting it to be like a recreational boot camp, but that's kind of how it turned out. Perhaps it was because I opted for the 3 day as opposed to 4 day course; Or maybe it was my instructor who seemed to be suffering from a hormonal imbalance of testosterone (he also was French (Canadian) which didn't help much); Or maybe it was because I was the only girl on the course?

We spent the first day (me and two nice Spanish guys, the testosterone Canadian and a humorless dork from Australia) blowing bubbles in a pool. It was exhausting and by the end of the day, I was ready to strangle my instructor. He was impatient, rude, arrogant and had the interpersonal skills of an alligator. The Spaniards said it was because he was French so I tried to blow it off (which as you know I am not good at doing). Day two we hit the Ocean and it was nice to smell the sea rather than chlorine from the sailing club pool. The instructor was even more short tempered, humorless and rude the second day, so finally I just dished it back to him. His tone immediately changed..interesting that!!!. I told him he was rude, had no patience for being a teacher and had way too much testosterone. It seemed to strike a nerve. Suddenly his arrogance shrinked to a pathetic puppy like submissiveness. He then wanted to know what he did to offend me. I told him I just wanted to finish the course, and if he wanted to talk about it afterwards like adults then I'd be happy to (in the end I didn't waste my energy and just let him figure it out).

We did two dives in two beautiful coral forests, tropical fish the size of my head (that I've seen in people's fish tanks, but are usually the size of my thumb), moray eels, flowing kelp, baracudas, valleys of coral and plant life...truly magnificent. It is hard to describe the sensation of breathing and being underwater. It is I suppose like being in outer space. Totally surreal. I kept uncontrollably floating to the top like an overinflated blimp. My ears would sting from the pressuree and the Canadian instructor (who was great underwater because he couldn't speak with his mouth on a regulator) would try and grab me so I wouldn't go up too fast (if you do, you can get decompression sickness ie. "the bends")

It was kind of comical really. The instructor would be showing us a fish and suddenly I would uncontrollably float away even though I was desprerately trying to deflate my air jacket (called a BCD) and attempting to empty my lungs as much as possible. Sometimes he wouldn't notice, and would happily entertain himself with the fish as I would helplessly float to the top like a helpless blimp baby. Most times though, he and the dorky Australian assistant would grab me (I felt like the girl who turns into a blueberry in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"). Luckily I didn't damage any coral or wildlife with my lack of bouyancy control. I'll try and practice it before I hit the reefs in Australia, the last thing the great barrier reef needs is me bouncing around the coral like a pong ball.

I do like scuba diving...it is a different world. I also enjoy the discipline in it. There are strict rules for safety and emergency procedures. It's nice to have a skill that requires a good level of responsibility in regards to physics and an alternative physical state. It is an interesting form of meditation. I would highly recommend it as a very cool life experience to anyone. I would suggest however, that if you get certified and you are a woman, get a female instructor. Scuba diving tends to attract somewhat of a meathead macho crowd for some reason (the guy who runs the diving place I went to looks like Chuck Norris). That said, there were also some cool Vietnamese divers. One guy named Nhang was probably 40 years old and had probably done more dives than all the instructors put together (20,000 dives to date). He used to dive for the government, searching for gold from sunken ships and doing oil excavation. Evidently they didn't have compressed air and he woul just have an air hose that would go to the top from 40 feet below (man, good think that hose never kinked!!!!) He knows the underwater landscape of Nha Trang better than anyone, every cave, local moray eel den, scorpion fish hang out, etc. so on the third day when he advised the crew not to go out because of wind and rains...they listened(hence my 3 day course turned into a 4 day course). I was quite happy to have a break after the first two days of diver boot camp.

I like Nha Trang. It's a laid back town with nice folks. The sidewalks are filled with food stalls (small tables and chairs making a makeshift restaurant), barber shops (two chairs and a mirror on the sidewalk with a barber), fish stalls selling lobsters and crabs (and sometimes roasted bugs like crickets and scorpions), and of course the ubiquitous tourist stalls (seling t-shirts postcards).

There are a lot of artists it seems in Nha Trang as well. Long Thanh is an amazing photographer whose work is in many of the cafes etc. Take a look at his stuff at:
http://www.thingsasian.com/goto_article/artist_profile.997.1.html
I really love his work. There is also a guy who sits at the sailing club and hand paints t-shirts for the tourists named Kim Quan. I didn't want to ask, but he was in a wheel chair, and his legs were deformed. He was around my age, and I assumed it was probably from Agent Orange as the deformity looked much like the deformities at the war remnant's museum video that was shown about the chemical. I have seen many folks with this (short stunted limbs twisted like pretzels).

Many people here are extraordinarily friendly. Everyone asks where I am from and when I tell them, they want to know if I voted for Kerry. When I tell them I am from San Francisco they usually say "ah, many Vietnamese in California" . No one has shown any hostility towards me for being an American, though I believe there is a healthy level of suspicion. I suppose if I told them I voted for Bush they would simply change the subject quickly. The Vietnamese seem like very polite people (though I've been told by travellers that this is not the case in parts of the North).

Vietnam got hit with a Typhoon last week and 30 people died. I was in Cambodia and Saigon at the time, but another one is coming (900 people died in the Phillipines from the first storm, and a "Super typhoon" is hitting today). It's a totally different reality people live in here. Their small shacks are no match for logging enduced mudslides and 180 km/hr winds. With the super typhoon coming so near Vietnam, I decided to cut my trip a bit short here and head inland to Laos. I'm a bit concerned about mudslides if I were to travel any further north. So I'm going back to Saigon tonight, then Ventienne and I'll catch a boat to Lao Pobang. After that I'm hoping to catch a two day slow boat down the Mekong River back to Ventienne.

In retrospect, I don't feel like I have really seen Vietnam (skimmed it perhaps), and I would like to see the north someday, perhaps head up into China which is what most travellers do. I am meeting so many people who have been travelling around the world for a year or two, other people working here in Vietnam, teaching English, Scuba Diving, studying etc. It is a lush and beautiful country. It's hard to believe it was bombed into a moonscape up until 1975. It's interesting how I don't run into very many Americans while travelling (I've met about 4 since I hit Cambodia and Vietnam). It's also interesting how CNN international, which is everywhere on Vietnamese TV sets NEVER mentions Vietnam in weather reports or ANYTHING. All if indochina is completely ignored. Funny that.

I've been on my own while in Nha Trang doing the Scuba course which has been nice as the experience was a bit daunting and it was great to just go to my hotel and relax at the end of the day. I'm sure heading up to Ventienne I'll meet more people, it isn't hard to do, all you do is sit at a cafe, turn to the person next to you and ask them where they are from. The answer is usually Australia Germany or France.